The Truth of the Matter

We were greeted by some incredible friends and family.

Our little family has now been home for over a week. We are so grateful to be back on Canadian soil. To be able to embrace the tail end of summer. To have the incredible opportunity to have Daddy at home until the beginning of September. To be anticipating Mama's (Grandma) arrival to help us out. To be surrounded by a community to support us.....but the truth of the matter is.....this parenting thing....this adoption thing....it's tough.

I hesitated to write this blog. Afraid that the honesty conveyed within would be discouraging or appear to demonstrate some level of ingratitude. This is not my intention. We are deeply grateful for the opportunity to parent both of our children. We believe them to be incredible blessings in our lives. A deep source of joy. We also believe that, if we allow it, God will use them to help us become the people He desires us to be. For before these little blessings we have not had to rely so heavily upon our Lord for those daunting fruits of the spirit...patience, peace....self control.

Little Dude was pretty exhausted from the journey.

Our time in Africa was quite honestly the most challenging experience our family has ever had to walk. Our lives changed instantly and we were jet lagged and without the love and support of a community. Our two littles struggled...understandably. One surrounded by people she didn't know...and constantly sick. The other having had his world completely rocked and in an entirely foreign environment.  We were pushed and stretched and at times very broken. We had an unexpected stay, we had sickness, we had tears. We were incredibly blessed with a few "short term" community members to help comfort us in our brokenness...and share a few McDonald's french fries with. But we deeply missed our community at home.

Coming home has not been without its challenges. Among the expected challenges of international travel with small children and the associated jet lag, we arrived home to a flooded basement, which is thankfully being taken care of as we speak and I missed the funeral of my grandfather (who passed away during our time in Africa). Attaching with a new little when there is already another little in the family has been challenging. Balancing the needs of children challenging. Determining and enforcing the appropriate boundaries...challenging. Although we walk a difficult journey now, I know...when I have had enough sleep, that it is infinately good. That while our family will never be the same...that is an incredible blessing. That while some days may be dark....we are not alone and are blessed by so many hands and hearts to help raise our family.

I know that in writing this there are many families that are anticipating an up and coming trip to South Africa. We are so excited for you. We can't wait to hear your stories, see the pictures of those smiling beauties. I pray that your travel goes smoothly, that your time away is a wonderful time for building and bonding. For laughter and joy....but know this. If it is not, if there are days that you struggle, days that you cry, days when your children melt down and reject you, days that you want to hide somewhere....for a VERY long time. You are not alone. This parenting thing....it's tough.....this adoption thing....it's tough.....but it is good.

Little lady meets some new friends.

I still need a lot of reminding of that and I am thankful for those families who have walked before us to tell us that there will come a day when my son can't remember a time without his sister. That there will come a day when the joyful interactions will be more abundant between them. That there will be a day when meal times aren't like world war three broke out at my dining table and my husband and I will go on a date again. In the same way, I hope that my transparency will act as a hope. For the only thing worse than walking through a challenging season in life....is thinking that you are the only one doing it.


*As an aside we are so thankful to have had Chantel Klassen  http://www.aharvestofblessing.com/photography/ offer to come to the airport to capture our first moments at home. While we were in rough shape we love that these moments were captured for us.