Anticipation Amid Aspirin

I write in a very quiet house while the two men I love most in the world sleep. They are sick. Fevering, coughing, no eating, grumpy kind of sick. I pray that their bodies heal by Christmas as I try my best to avoid any "sharing" of those germs.

The quiet has given me time to reflect. Packing has taken a break as I am too afraid  the squeaky floor will wake either of them. In this moment of rest I find my heart grateful for many things. I am thankful for the steaming cup of coffee beside me. For the access to internet to connect with family and friends farther away. For the new friendships we have made in Edmonton. For the blanket of white snow that covers this city. I am thankful that we are soon to be heading home. First to Abbotsford, then Regina, and then finally our little home in Saskatoon.

I am thankful for the family that is waiting to greet us. That they are excited to welcome us home, to share Christmas with us. To share life with us. I am grateful for the family to which I was born and the family that I have married into. I am thankful for the way they embrace us, support us, and love us. I am so thankful that my son has been born into such a loving extended family, on both sides.

As I think about family I am thankful for the way our family is growing. Both in babies and in engagements! The Lord has truly blessed us as a family of three. While we fight sickness in our house today I am excited about what the next few weeks hold. So looking forward to family games night with the cousins, Christmas Eve fun and games, Christmas morning with individually wrapped socks (I am gifted with a very creative mom who loves to wrap and open presents!), a restful time in Regina and finally a homecoming to the friends and community in Saskatoon that we've missed. How blessed we are!

Warm Winter Wear

Our little family has been attending a church just down the road from us during our stay in Edmonton. This past weekend the congregation sent off three families on missions work. Two families with young children. Four each to be exact. One going long term, learning a new language, engaging in a new culture, leaving their friends and community behind to start anew. The other planning to spend their Christmas holidays ministering to the children at a residential school in China. Prayer requests were made for language learning, safety, visas....and jackets.

These Chinese children had no jackets, no snow pants, now toques and mitts, no boots to walk home for their weekend visits. Nothing to shield them from the winter elements. To protect them from the biting cold. I thought about this during our afternoon walk today. Jacob at the ripe age of 15 months owns two pairs of boots (previously three until I decided this was ridiculous and gave the third pair away), two pairs of mitts, four toques, one pair of snow pants and two winter jackets (with a third and a fourth waiting for him at home). What plenty! Our baby boy has enough winter gear to outfit at least two of him. Tim and I are also abounding in winter gear. Yet these children have nothing.

I find myself at a crossroads of sorts. In recognition of my abundance of provision for my basic needs I possess gratitude. Yet, in response to cultural pressures and selfish motives I continue to desire more. More fashionable winter wear, newer clothing for the Christmas season, new home decorations, different sweaters, shoes, boots, jewelry....the list goes on.

I receive a daily blog entry from Ann Voskamp....if you haven't figured it out yet, I am a bit of a fan. Last week she sent out a simple question. In light of Christmas being the celebration of Jesus' birth.....what are you planning on getting Jesus for His birthday? This Christmas I have decided that Jesus doesn't need another new outfit for me. Despite me being in the Mecca of shopping bliss (well Saskatoon's shopping mecca) I have chosen to be thankful for what I already have. Buying new clothing for the Christmas Season is great. A way to enjoy the blessings God has given you. But for me, for this Christmas Season, new clothing dangerously teeters on evoking a sense entitlement rather than gratitude. Examining my heart and truly seeking to celebrate Jesus' birthday I ask myself instead......what will I get for Jesus this Christmas. Perhaps a nice winter jacket in China might be fitting.

Embracing the Uncomfortable

This weekend we watched the movie "The Machine Gun Preacher". I will start by saying this movie is not for everyone. Certainly not meant for anyone under 18.  For the pacifists among us the title is probably enough to cause concern; however, if you have never heard of this movie or the man on whom it is based I would challenge you to at least watch a preview. We debated even renting it. A story laced with drugs, sex, alcohol, violence, not our typical viewing choice to say the least but the life of Sam Childers drew us in. In short Sam's story is one of redemption, incredible redemption. God drew Sam out of the depths of drug abuse, crime, and dark violence. He called him out and drew him to South Sudan where he built an orphanage in the heart of a war zone because he felt God had spoken to him. Where Sam runs into controversy is his methods for protecting the children in this area. He is a rough man who will stop short of nothing to rescue these children including the use of guns against opposing forces. The movie and Sam's life are filled with violence. Children killed mercilessly, unthinkable acts of violence carried out towards them and their families. I found myself questioning is this something God would want me to spend my Saturday night watching? Surely some G rated movie would have been a better choice? Do those even exist anymore?
Yet, here it is Monday afternoon and I am still thinking about it. Still thinking about the lengths at which this man risks his life to save children. Still thinking about the unfathomable war zone these children are living in. I am uncomfortable. I am disturbed. I am thankful for both. Too often I think I get caught up in my comfortable life worrying about whether or not I should shop for a new sweater for Christmas. Worrying that I have not found the perfect gift for someone, or that my hair is just not looking right these days. Worrying about what paint to redo my kitchen with or what to defrost to make dinner. I am disturbed but I am thinking. Thinking about the world. Thinking about children and their safety. Thinking about Sam and his controversial approach in South Sudan.
Would God want me to watch this movie?  He watches it in real-time every day. My heart is broken over this hour. He watches prostitutes, drug abusers, criminals, war lords, militia carry out their acts over and over again, everyday. What must He feel like day after day? I don't know what God thinks of Hollywood's portrayal of Sam's life. But I don't see Him being too upset when our hearts are broken by the hurt of innocent people. When we are drawn away from thinking about ourselves and begin to think about others. As I said, this movie is not for everyone. The images graphic, the language explicit, it is disturbing, it makes you feel uncomfortable but for that I am thankful. I think I need to feel a bit more uncomfortable more often.

What's My Manna?

Well today is one of those days. The day that starts off alright and then somehow, as if completely out of your control spirals downward at mach speed. The weather is starting to resemble a deep freeze in true prairie form and I am quickly learning the art of dressing a toddler accordingly. Jake is not a fan but he tolerates my child wrangling and occasionally gets a kick out of the chase. Bundled and ready we headed to our last music class. I think it is safe to say that both of us are going to miss our weekly sing and dance at the local community center. Upon our return home, sleeping babe in arms I tried to open the front door....only to discover the set of keys did not contain the very one I needed. So, back in the car we went to call Tim.

Poor Tim is called on to fix a variety of problems from afar and in true form he called a locksmith. After almost an hour listening to a CBC radio special on crosswords....why I would subject myself to such a listening I do not know......the Lock Surgeon graced me with his presence. With a 30 second flip of a tool (I got to get me one of those) we were in. Fantastic I thought, with such relative ease our problem was solved, and it was.....then came the bill. Oh the bill. Such bills put me in a wonder. Why did I choose to teach when I can earn almost a day of teaching wages in ......30 seconds! Thus started to personal lament of my misfortune. The turn for the self pitying....the feeling of injustice.....the chat with my son about considering the pursuit in a future career of locksmithing (is that even a word?).  How quickly my elation of crossing the threshold of our temporary home was dashed by the request for cash or credit. Had my problem not been solved?

The church we have been attending in Edmonton is going through a sermon series that essentially breaks down the stories of the Old Testament and retells them. I have been loving it. The pastor is a phenomenal story teller and brings these well known stories to life each Sunday. Last Sunday it was the story of the Israelites and Moses. Of their 40 year wander in the desert. What stuck with me was God's provision for them. Shoes and clothes that didn't wear out for 40 years (what parent wouldn't love access to such garments?), 40 years of food and drink in a barren land,  a hope and promise for future generations to enter a land of plenty. Yet, the Israelites were constant complainers. Eating the Manna but wanting more, not wanting to wait, stating they would rather be enslaved that provided for in the desert. Really, under oppressive rule rather than eating the food they wanted. The epitome of fussy eating. Complaining, complaining, complaining.

This got me to thinking, what is my Manna today? Perhaps today's Manna comes in the form of the burly Lock Surgeon employee? The Lord has provided what we needed. A small request and a prompt answer. Perhaps, instead of complaining like the Israelites, failing to see God's provision I can choose to salvage what is left of today. To praise God for big burly Lock Surgeon man and his fancy tool and the gift of mastercard. To see provision in the desert instead of longing for bondage. Thoughts to ponder. Time to find myself a big cup of java and enjoy these quiet napping moments and the warmth of the inside of this house.

Home

It has been awhile since my last post. I have been in Abbotsford visiting family and friends. Jake and I went home. Funny after over 8 years of living elsewhere it still feels like home. Today, as I navigated my way through a very slushy Edmonton I was reminded of yet another home. Of the friends in Saskatoon at home waiting for our return. A text flashes on my cell phone "When are you coming home  for Grandpa's birthday?"....I am reminded of yet another home. Even still with a fussing toddler in the backseat I reassured by saying "We are almost home." How is one person so fortunate to have so many places to call home. So many places filled with people who welcome us, care for us, love us. So many friends and family. So thankful. So many in the world struggle to find one place to call home while others walk alone their heart aching for someone to care for and love them. Today, I am thankful for a place to call home.....make that many places to call home....and loving family and friends to greet us when we arrive.

Peace

It is snowing this morning in Edmonton. The kind of snowfall that requires you to brush your car off twice if you hesitate for a moment after the first brushing. Tim just called, after 45 minutes of driving he is 4 blocks away. It is that kind of a snowy day. Jake and I poked our heads out this morning to watch the snow fall. It was so quiet. The city noise dampened by the falling snow. While our home is in the middle of the city just moments from downtown, to listen you wouldn't know it. So peaceful. My babe has gone down for his morning nap and with the fire on and the coffee brewing the inside of my house is peaceful too. I struck by how blessed I am to live surrounded by peace. Not just in this moment with the snowfall and the sleeping baby, but everyday. The approach of Remembrance Day also serves to remind me of this. A country without war, with access to food, warmth, shelter. The freedom to worship God without persecution. The knowledge that if my son needed medical help it would be there. Peace. It is a wonder that I get so caught up in what I have heard referred to as the first world "whine". That I let my "peace" be disturbed by long line ups at the grocery store, being on hold with the cable company or unexpected traffic. Perhaps I need more snowy days to slow down and remember the triviality of these "stresses" in comparison to what so many others face around the world. Peace, gratitude for peace.

My Other Half

This picture was taken at Jake's first birthday.

It seems as though it has be awhile since my last post. Not for lack of things to be thankful for but more a lack of time to publicly declare them. After a wonderful weekend with a wonderful aunt who facilitated a much needed date night I find myself extremely thankful for my other half.  It has been awhile since this mommy and daddy have been able to go out on our own. While Auntie B watched a little man, who consequently played her as a babysitter and refused to go to bed....Tim planned and executed a wonderful date. Filled with good coffee, a hilarious rendition of "Sleeping Beauty" put on by a local theatre, followed by the most delicious pizza I have had this side of the Atlantic Ocean our date night was a wonderful respite from a sick little man and a great opportunity to reconnect. I am so thankful for the man I have married, the husband he is and the father he has become. I am thankful good entertainment, yummy pizza and the chance to be out and about past 7 o'clock.

Our Living Room Soundtrack

Another week has flown by in Edmonton. My brother came to visit us this week. After living away from home for over 8 years this is the firs time I have ever hosted my brother. I hope it won't be another 8 years until we repeat this. We had a great visit. Celebrated Kyle's birthday and Jake received a belated birthday present. We had dinner with new friends and I have a coffee date planned with an old friend. I went out for dinner with an accountability partner and skyped in for a book study. Edmonton has been good to us. While there are many things I can be thankful today the current soundtrack in my living room beats them all. After a sleepless night and plagued by new teeth and yet another cold he just keeps going.

A Timely Reminder

A few evenings ago I was invited to a Ladies Night Out with the Bible study group I attend on Wednesday mornings. It was a lovely evening filled with many new faces, as are most of my days as of late :-). I had the opportunity to get to know some of the women better. One particular conversation has stuck with me since, a conversation that I can't shake, nor do I want to.  I was blessed with the opportunity to talk with one of our co-leaders for an extended period of time. She is a dedicated woman of God who has adopted two children from Haiti. As I also discovered, she faces incredible health challenges on a daily basis. Not the stuffy nose, sore back variety but the life threatening kind. Her illness is so severe that when first diagnosed she was given only two weeks to live. That was over 12 years ago, praise God! It got me thinking.....sure I have a child who has presently decided not to sleep, a husband who needs to dedicate many hours to studying for a looming exam, and I am feeling slightly out of my element in a new city.....but I have my health. My boys are healthy, my family is healthy, even my dog is healthy! There have been times in my life when this has not been so, but I experienced healing. So easy to forget. So easy to take for granted. So easy to feel entitled to health. The most striking part of our conversation was her reminder that, "Nobody ever thinks it is going to happen to them, but then it does, and you have to deal with it." I only hope that if or when our little family faces serious health challenges that we "deal with it" as humbly and graciously as she has.  I am so grateful for the health I have and intend to enjoy the things God has blessed me with as much as I can, including my two wonderful boys.

My little man helping my big man with a little 

plumbing project before we left.

Enjoying an afternoon at the dog park.

Wonderful Wonder

It has been a while since I have posted. I had fallen into a slump of believing that there was not much to be thankful for. Funny how fickle we can be and how short-term our memory is when the laundry piles up and the weather turns sour. I have realized that it is more a case of skewed perspective rather than an actual lack of blessing. Ann Voskamp dedicates a whole chapter to perspective and gratitude in her book "One Thousand Gifts" a read I highly recommend. The last few days Jake and I have ventured out about. Sometimes far sometime to the front lawn. As I watch him explore the world around him and experience things for the first time I am struck by the utter sense of wonder he demonstrates. Things I have taken for granted (watching the birds outside) or now view with complaint (the first snowfall) completely captivate my little man. My response to the snow this week, "You have got to be kidding!" As if snowfall in Edmonton in October is completely bizarre. Jake's response....squeal and delight, reaching for snowflakes and watching in wonder as they melted on his mitts. Here are a few pictures from our week, my attempts to capture Jake's wonder. I am thankful for Jake's daily reminder that wonder surrounds us every day. We just need to view it from the right perspective. A one year old's perspective seems to do just great.

 

Jake and I have been spending a lot of time exploring the local library. They have a great fish tank with tons of fish. Jake loves watching them swim around. 

 

Jake discovered this week how to turn his nightlight on and off. Anytime he is in his room he heads straight for the nightlight and squeals with delight at his new discovery.

 

 

Alas! The snow has made its first appearance. While brief it is a reminder of what is yet to come. Jake loved watching the flakes fall from the sky. 

Sometimes I wonder at why we buy toys. Jake was occupied for quite some time yesterday by the inside of the salad spinner. Who knew so much fun could come from kitchenware?

A Weekend of Thanksgiving

I had logged onto my computer this morning intending to tell you about the weekend filled with friends (new and old), family too rarely seen and ridiculous amounts of delicious food and great fellowship. Before I could log onto my blog I saw a beautiful video posted on Facebook by my home church in Abbotsford. The video was created by the members of the church as a touching reminder that we have so much to be thankful for. On a morning that I felt came way too early with a grouchy little boy, a clumsy dog and a coffee pot that just never seems to brew quickly enough I was brought to tears of gratitude. I too am thankful for friends and family, good food to eat and the gift of music but this morning I find myself overwhelmingly thankful for a little church in the countryside of Abbotsford. A church that ushered me into their arms almost twelve years ago. A church filled with people who loved me and drew me into the relationship I now have with the Lord. A church filled with generous pie bakers, dedicated Sunday school teachers, gracious children's ministry leaders, God fearing leadership and many loving arms that welcome me home each time I make it through the doors. Though the building has changed, new faces arrived and familiar faces have either gone off to be with the Lord or journeyed on somewhere else like myself this morning I am incredibly thankful for you Arnold Community Church.

While I tried to embed this video into my blog posting today it hasn't seemed to work. Hopefully this link will.

He Hears and Answers

Jake all ready to rock for an outdoor excursion.

 Taken in Saskatoon but the look is much the same here. 

The last few days Edmonton has been graced with some beautiful Autumn weather. The leaves are almost off the trees but line the streets and make that wonderful crunching sound when you walk through them. Jake, Sophie and I have been taking advantage of the nice weather by exploring our neighbourhood. Jake hasn't been sleeping the greatest so he enjoys the crisp air and a few zz's in the chariot while Sophie and I enjoy some peace and rest from grumpy baby. This morning Tim was able to join us on our exploration. As we walked we ran into the people who live in the basement of our house walking their dog. We stopped and chatted and I couldn't help but think of how rarely this happens in Saskatoon a much smaller city where we know considerably more people. We also visited a local coffee shop called The Wired Cup. Great coffee, neat art and gifts to look at, delicious cinnamon buns. So many yummy things to be thankful for. As we were talking, a lady at the next table overheard we were new to Edmonton. She turned around and continued to tell us all the local attractions and some great places to run and cross country ski. She found out I like to run and gave me her number and email address in case I ever want to go out running with her or just meet up for coffee. This is the third time this has happened in the last week. First the lady at Bible study, then another mom at the Baby and Me Music class and now random lady at the coffee shop. Not to mention the friend of a friend who offered to help move us in and has already arranged a "date" next week with us. My biggest prayer in coming here was that I wouldn't be lonely. I think I can safely say that the Big Guy upstairs has heard and answered. My only dilemma is who to call first.

New Friends

 Mommy's sidekick! Man, I love this kid.

Yesterday morning Jake and I ventured across the great unknown that is Edmonton to Ellerslie Baptist Church. Prior to leaving Saskatoon I emailed many churches in search of a ladies morning Bible study. My search led me to Ellerslie Baptist. Jake and I were greeted at the nursery with open arms, loving baby talk (for Jake not me) and lots of reassurance. I was off to get a coffee and join the rest of the ladies for the morning. I was also greeted warmly. The lady I had been in contact with came up to me and said, "You must be Erin." Perhaps I looked a bit lost :-) I had a great morning of discussion and prayer. Jake had a morning of playing and a nap How wonderful is that? They had a place for him to take a nap! We both left refreshed. I from adult conversation and a couple hours of being "baby free" and Jake from a much needed morning nap. This morning I am thankful for welcoming community, loving servants in childcare, and the internet and email to facilitate it all.

Driving Edmonton 101

Today Jake and I ventured further than our neighbourhood. With Tim's iphone traveling around this new city has been a piece of cake.....traveling around without it....not for the faint of heart. We made it to Uncle Dave's for a lunch date with Grandma and Grandpa (they leave tomorrow) and after some creative driving and a few wrong turns we made it back home. The roads of Edmonton have taught me a few things today.
Number One: Not all roads are two way. In fact Edmontonian (is that what you would call a person from Edmonton?)  road planners quite like multiple laned one way streets.
Number Two: Google maps is a useful tool; however, it often does not make it clear whether a road is one way or two way (Are you starting to see where our trouble may have started today :-).
Number Three: The roundabout is a challenging roadway construction that Saskatchewan does not prepare you for.
Despite the one way street blip I am super thankful for google maps today. Without it I would be lost....literally.

A New "Home"

We have arrived, unpacked and are starting to settle into our new home. While being away from Saskatoon has a funny way of making me more thankful for the city we have left behind I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the home we now find ourselves in. We are in the heart of Edmonton, a wonderful location with easy access to the places we need to be. We have a comfortable home with landlords who took great care in preparing this place for us. This morning as I watched Jake play with Sophie (our pooch), I was reminded of how great it is that we were able to bring her along. Yes, she causes us much grief at times but she is an important part of our family and Jake adores her. Three months would have been a long time without her. So, today I am thankful for the provision of a home. A warm, comfortable home in a great location. A home away from home that allows our whole family to be together.

The Adventure Begins

As our family of three embarks on an adventure in Edmonton I have decided to start my own personal adventure into blogging. While my journey to prepare for this three month elective time away from home has led me to feel many different ways, I have chosen to see it as an adventure. One in which I am certain God is trying to teach me something. Having had to move to new cities and start over multiple times I wasn't all that excited about leaving our little community once again; however, this is for but a season. So, as our adventure begins so does my challenge to share what I am thankful during a season of change....my challenge to embrace everyday.