Those of you who are geographically inclined will notice a slight error in the way Africa is depicted here. I assure you, our dear cousin sewed it on correctly and when we get technologically inclined enough to take another picture we will right it :-)
So I suppose that it has been a long time.....a really long time......way too long....since I logged onto this blog and attempted to organize thoughts to share. I suppose the blogging absence summarizes most clearly the season in which the "embracing" of everyday did not come so easily. As a good friend put it so clearly this week "there are days" when disappointment, self righteousness and ingratitude cloud over like a nasty disorienting storm.....thankfully there are increasingly more days in which the light shines through and hope provides clarity pointing me towards all the blessings I experience. I have been hesitant to share this journey....and there will be much of it I won't in a public arena but this week I found myself challenged. If I don't have the courage to share my darkness am I missing out on the opportunity to glorify a God who so strongly desires me to find my way to the light? So, it is in light of this that I will provide a brief update of a very long journey that has led us to today....and also to quench to curiosity of many who wonder how we have landed ourselves on the path to international adoption :-)
There are a great deal of things I don't understand in life. Some I try to make sense of and come up with some resemblance of understanding. Others I drive myself batty trying to understand and others still that I have somehow found peace in not understanding but trusting that a God much greater than myself has things figured out. Our experience with secondary infertility has been a journey from the second to the last. It has been one of those instances in the life over which I have had absolutely no control (that would be the driving me batty part). Yes, there were alternatives to pursue but we didn't. Yes, there is the possibility that we might have another child naturally, but we haven't. So, in light of the strong desire we have for a large family and the many children who desire to belong to a loving and stable family, we have decided to pursue an international adoption. To welcome into our home, to embrace into our family, to love with all our hearts a child given life by other parents but entrusted to us to raise as our own.
What you should know.....
We are excited.
We are excited to be at the stage where we are waiting. Not overly thrilled about having patience to wait but trusting that a proposal for the newest "Ehmann" will come at the perfect time. Yes, the experience of infertility has been heart wrenching. Yes, we will probably still struggle with this challenge when we hear of new pregnancy announcements or smell the sweet smell of a newborn....but we are so excited to be in waiting for a babe of our own.
Yes, Jake knows.
While his understanding is limited, he knows that we will be picking up his brother or sister from the "heart".....the heart on the pillow above is in South Africa. While he has informed us that he really would prefer a cowboy.....he is generally accepting that a brother or sister would be okay too. That is pretty much all he knows and developmentally we feel about the extent of what he can grasp. When the proposal comes we'll have more discussions :-)
We have no idea how long we will wait.
I get antsy when the internet connection is 5 seconds slower in our home so you can well imagine how challenging this wait might be. We have been told that there is about a 15 month wait. We are on month 3. I will leave the math up to you....although keep in mind there are a few variables, like the two governments, two agencies, and some international policies that might mix things up for us at anytime......if you are the praying type, we would appreciate a little bit of that in this area.
We feel led here.
While neither of us pictured ourselves pursuing an international adoption at this stage of our lives we have no doubts that this is where God wants us. Adoption is not a back up plan because we believe that it has always been God's plan for us.....we just might not have been aware of it. We trust that no matter where the adventure of growing our family takes us that an adopted son or daughter will be part of it. There are things beyond our control (as we have become acutely aware of) but, God willing, we desire to pursue adoption regardless.
Country: South Africa
Organization: Mission of Tears (Ontario)
Like I said short summary of a long journey. I hope to use this blog to keep people updated on where this journey takes us from here. Not promising any sort of regularity but check in once in awhile to see where we are.
