Some African Wildlife and a Day at the Beach

J staring into the "distance".

Building castles...just minutes before being flooded by waves.

My little family splashing in the waves.

While it may be winter in Durban today was another beach day for the Ehmann family. We may not have gone swimming but there was much running from waves and sand playing (eating) to be had. We strolled along the promenade, watched surfers and skateboarders, enjoyed some ice cream and dreamed what it would be like if this was "winter".....poor girl doesn't know what she is in for :-)

Among other things we have had a few encounters with some African "wildlife" during our stay here. A few morning ago Tim and J found a snake in the garden they were playing in. Not knowing what kind it was they asked a staff member....not a fan of snakes herself they decided it might be of the dangerous variety...it apparently was the right colour. Being the family protector that he his...Tim chased it with a broom stick, flung it on the driveway and fought a hissing snake to its death with a rock. That was about enough of the Ehmann discovery channel for me. We later found out it was probably harmless.....but we will let Tim think otherwise :-)

Miss A loving the beach.

Playing in the sand.

Today on our beach adventures we decided to enjoy a nice lunch on a patio overlooking the ocean. Some monkeys thought it was a good idea too as we were quickly joined by about four of them, running across our patio umbrellas, jumping to nearby trees.....swinging on the bars underneath our umbrellas.....let's just say we managed to find a table inside before our lunch was swiped by these seemingly fearless visitors. We are enjoying our time as a family. There have been some growing pains, as to be expected, but we are doing well, taking lots of time to splash in the Indian Ocean and enjoy our beautiful tropical environment and the many animal encounters we have had.

Some South African Adventures

We have been in South Africa for over a week now. I honestly can't believe that time has gone so quickly. Just like that there are four of us. Our court date was on Thursday and things went really smoothly...so this sweet girl is really truly and Ehmann now. The next four weeks we will just be processing her citizenship documents and passport for our return home. Please pray that this goes smoothly. There has been some new changes to immigration law this month that might cause a few hiccups. We are praying they don't though. 

Our little girl is finally getting over her cold....her momma and big brother have a bit of one but seem to be trooping through it. Dad has dodged the bullet....for now. She is definately coming out of her shell. Lots of giggling and smiling, chasing her big brother around, and singing.....she loves to sing just like our J. It took until Saturday but she finally let Tim hold her...and feed her a bottle. She goes to him now no problem and for the first time he was able to change her this morning.  He was pretty excited. So was mom....takes a bit of the pressure off now and allows some Mommy and J time....which was much needed.

Tim's first chance to feed our little girl.

With the relief of court finished and our sweet girl with us forever, we have had the opportunity for a few adventures. Tim braved it and we have rented a car. He has done a great job of navigating on the other side of the road, dodging pedestrians crossing at random on the highway and driving alongside people with no particular standard of driving. There was a brief moment of concern today when the GPS failed to find the address to our B and B on the way home from the beach....but we managed to figure it out.

The rental car has proven to also be a great source of play. This "driver" is getting ticketed for driving too slow today.

Our little A has come with giggles, some particular food preferences, a beautiful smile and a gorgeous head of hair.....LOTS OF IT! Navigating the ways of her curly mop has been a bit of a challenge. One of the workers at the B and B has been incredibly helpful, providing us with the right comb and multiple suggestions on how to quickly and painlessly detangle in the morning bath. So after many tears and half a bottle of conditioner (in four baths) we now have a system. This morning went considerably smoother and I was able to get two braids in to keep the tangles down for the day.

This picture is entirely deceiving...looks as if this is the best part of her day....don't let it fool you!

Little lady with her locks all combed out.

J has been such a trooper through the last week and a bit. He has had his challenges adjusting to a new sibling, being away from home, and being stuck on the property for a few days. We really are quite proud of how he has done on the whole though. The first few "outings" we have had have been to malls. We have had what has seemed like a constant supply of things to pick up (hair products, passport pictures, groceries, a few items of clothing for Miss A). Even Tim admitted that going to the mall was a joy after being "stuck" on the property for almost a week.....to a preschooler the mall is not a joy.....but he has taken it in stride. While it seems like South Africans love their Nescafe.....we have welcomed a trip to a coffee shop for some real brew. The last one we visited gave both our kids "babyccino's" (i.e. steamed milk)....J thought this was great. Thankfully for the whole Ehmann clan (all of whom do not really like shopping) we have ventured beyond the realm of shopping and visited a local park and zoo (Mitchel Park) and headed to the beach today. It was a beautiful winter day (about 26 degrees celcius)....we saw everything from speedos to wool trench coats (it is winter after all :-)

J and two babyccino's ....Miss A shared hers :-)

No wool coats for this family. Tim and J riding on the water slide at the paddling pools by the beach.

 

 

 Daily life continues to be a hybrid of our normal routine and what has become normal during our stay in South Africa. Getting used to a toddler again has been wonderful but has kept us on our toes. Our little lady is not yet walking independently but she can move fast. J has proved to be helpful in keeping tabs on her in our "cottage". We are served breakfast daily in style and our laundry is done and folded whenever we request it. I might have a hard time coming home.

Miss A is coming out of her shell....and getting into everything!

 

 

I like to pinch his cheeks too....but I am his Momma :-)

I must admit it is taking some getting used to to adjust to some of the cultural aspects in South Africa. The one that has caused the most distress is the more "hands on" approach when it comes to children. J gets pinched on the cheeks on a daily basis (which he hates!) and has even been picked up by a stranger....who was trying to help but sent our preschooler into hysterics! It is hard to explain that they are just being friendly.

 All in all we are adjusting well. Sleeping lots (we often hit the hay shortly after the kids), and starting to explore the world around us. We are loving those sweet moments of bonding as a family and working hard at navigating those more challenging moments of adjustment. We are thankful for this time and the two beautiful children God has blessed us with.

J reading his little sis a bedtime story....it's the one we made for her. He has it memorized :-)

Introducing.......

Our Sweet Baby Girl

  
We are thrilled to announce the newest addition to our family. Miss Ada Kietumetsi Ehmann......at around 2:15pm this afternoon it became official. She is ours.....now we can show you what she looks like :-)

Makes a momma's heart full.

Love that sweet smile.

Family Pic on Court Day!

Probably the most accurate photo of what court day looks like during nap time :-)

Life as We Know it......

Tonight will be Miss A's last night at 17 Tweed. See you tomorrow our sweet girl.

Tonight marks the end of the second full day visit Miss A has had to our bed and breakfast. For the last two mornings we have gotten up, eaten breakfast, been shuttled to Ada's baby home, picked her up and brought her back for the day. Shortly before 5pm each day we are shuttled back to the baby home to drop her off. Yesterday our little A was still pretty sick. She spent most of the day sleeping either in a carrier or on mommy. Today she was much more perky ( I would like to say herself....but we have still not really seen who Miss Ada is). The other babes also looked much better this morning. Thankfully (keep on praying) none of the other Ehmanns have become sick yet.

J takes his job as big brother very seriously.

Having our girl at "home" with us was a bit surreal. We have been waiting for this precious babe for so long and now here she is. J is a very helpful big brother. He takes great pride in preparing her bottles and checking in on her. He is experiencing some growing pains as he learns to share mom and dad and be patient with a sick and adjusting sibling but he continues to tell us how excited he is that Ada is joining us forever tomorrow.

.....That's right TOMORROW! Tomorrow morning when we pick up Ada it will be for good. We plan on making a few visits back to the baby home while we are here but her new home will be with us. It is overwhelming to think....and I am not the 14 month old with the total life change on the brink. Tomorrow night will be the first night we all sleep under the same roof. Amazing! Thursday afternoon is our court date.....as I explained to J....we know that she is already ours forever, but sometimes grown ups need special forms to remind them that. :-)

For those who continue to pray for us here are some ways to direct your prayers:

1) Pray for Ada as she adjusts to a new family. Pray that we would have wisdom in how to be sensitive to her needs and that attachment would form between the four of us.

2) Pray for Jake as he adjusts to his new role as big brother. Pray for wisdom and patience as we seek to meet the needs of both of our children as they adjust to so many changes.

3) Continue to pray for our health. Ada is on the mend it would be wonderful if during this time of transition we were able to stay healthy.

4) Pray for the legal side of this adoption. The judge is apparently very pro adoption so we have little concern for the actual court proceedings. We have heard of some changes in documentation for citizenship. Pray that things would continue to go smoothly so that we might return to Canada when expected.

Thank you for all your encouraging words. Being so far away from family and friends they are much appreciated.

Happy Father's Day

Tim's father's day present...snuggles with his baby girl.

 Father's Day 2015 started like any typical day in the Ehmann house....wake up in gingerbread cottage.....get dressed to have breakfast served to us as requested the night before.....eat at table with full silverware setting and WHITE tablecloth....view monkeys....head to baby home to visit new daughter.....yup nothing out of the ordinary :-) To be honest, this having breakfast made for us thing is going to be hard to give up. Dining in a fancy dining room with white linens and glassware is enough to make any mother of a preschooler cringe but our host is so incredibly gracious and absolutely loves children which makes the whole formal breakfast dining thing easier on the nerves.

J opening his present from his sister.

Our second day was a challenging one for our immune systems to be sure. Over the night the babies became more noticeably sick. Today marks the first day my little girl puked on me....I guess there is a first for everything. The babies have come down with a nasty cold (the puking mostly a product of milk and not being able to breathe properly). The wee ones were sleepy and weepy....we got lot of snuggles today. Miss A fell asleep on both her mommy and daddy. Upon our return we promptly stripped down and scoured ourselves in the shower....then ate some oranges. It will be a minor miracle if we don't all get sick in the next few days.

Watching the house mother and the volunteers today truly amazes me. These women are so dedicated to loving and caring for these little ones. Today we met a woman who has spent a considerable amount of time with our Ada. She spent her first Christmas with this family, has enjoyed going to soccer matches and school performances with them. You can tell she has a real soft spot in their hearts. This woman is also an administrator for the home. Today she brought with her her two boys. One in grade 6 and the other in grade 11 it was amazing to watch them wipe runny noses, change dirty diapers, and put little ones to bed. Not many teenage boys I know would give up a day off of school to do that. This family put together a baby book for Ada documenting the first year of her life in pictures and notes. They included a USB full of pictures and a letter from each member of the family to her and us. To top it off they brought a gift for J.....from his sister of course....to help keep him busy during our visits to the baby home.  Our baby girl is so loved. We are so thankful and deeply humbled by the service that we are witnessing.

The Beginning of the Rest of our Lives

J sleeping with both his beloved "PB" and Ada's new bunny.

A proud brother giving his little sis a special present.

Today was the beginning of an amazing journey. Today was the day we got to hold and play with our Ada. The morning started with a tumult of emotions. Excitement, anticipation, .....a good dose of anxiety. Not knowing how our baby girl would respond to us, how our big boy would handle a day at a baby home or what our day would really look like. We were picked up from the bed and breakfast at 8:30 and driven to Ada's baby home. Greeted by one of the main caregivers and led into their living room where there sat our sweet girl. I think she sensed something was up. While the first hour or so she kept her distance seeking the security of the arms of her care giver she soon warmed up enough to let me hold her. While her initial distance was difficult to endure we are thankful for it as it indicates that she has a healthy fear of strangers...boding well for a good attachment to her new family. All the babies at the home were feeling a bit under the weather today so she was extra snuggly.....which I didn't mind one bit. We spent the day meeting volunteers and playing with the babies. Helping with feeding and changing and taking notes on routines during nap time. It is quite evident that Ada has been well loved. There will be many a tear shed when she leaves.

J was a trooper. We are so proud of him. He was gentle and patient with his baby sister. Clearly excited to meet her and wanting to engage in play with her right from the beginning. Having slept with her bunny last night he was anxious to give it to her. He was helpful during nap time lending a hand at sorting donations and had fun interacting with the volunteers.

Leaving our sweet girl this afternoon felt strange. It feels like she belongs to us. I can't wait for the day we can take her home, the day we can become a family unit......only four more sleeps! We are back at the baby home all day tomorrow. Please pray for our boy, that he would have the endurance to make it the day with babies again. Pray that we would have wisdom as parents to balance the need of both our children, spending time Ada and recognizing when J has reached his limits. Pray for our health. Snot and germs abounded at the baby home. Ada is already sick but it would be lovely if the rest of us could maintain our health throughout this transition. I can't wait to share pictures of her beautiful face....but that will have to wait until after court.

Sweet Snuggles....can't wait to show you this beautiful face.

The Night Before

Chilling in London....watching some movies

Riding the "Magic Carpet"

Best airport time killing activity ever! Small to pack...pop when you board....kill some energy.

Flying "Air Canada"....waiting for our real plane.

Four flights, five airports, a ridiculous amount of granola bars and children's television....we have landed....on the other side of the world. We made it and I am happy to say that J was an absolute champ. On the car ride to our B and B we were telling the driver how well he did and he responded with an enthusiastic, "I didn't cry or have a fit the the whole time!" In fact, our little J has been quite excited and especially chatty....to everyone. Making sure to inform everyone new that he is in fact 3 and 3/4 and knows his alphabet.....did they want to hear him? I can tell he is excited. It has been exciting for him to fly, to find a new little home, to meet so many new people and now to finally get to play with his baby sister.

We are thankful for our decision to come a day earlier. While we are incredibly excited to meet our little girl....TOMORROW MORNING!.....we have enjoyed spending the day resting, stocking up on groceries and exploring. J is enamored with the monkeys swinging on the backyard trees and the gekkos that scamper across the patio. Our bed and breakfast is beautiful and the staff incredibly welcoming and helpful. J refers to our cottage as the gingerbread house....a fitting description. When we figure out our technology situation I will post a picture.

With the sun setting just before six it is easy to turn in early and convince a preschooler that it is actually bedtime. So, while most of you are just starting your day we will be making it an early end. Tomorrow is a big day. Which may just be the understatement of the year. We are going to meet our baby girl. To hold and play with the little person who will be shortly joining our family. I am not sure how to even describe how this feels. Surreal would probably be the closest. I am been imagining the moment we see our little girl face to face and now it is a few short hours away. It has been three days of surreal. We are in Africa....we are drinking coffee with monkeys swinging nearby.....we are going to meet our daughter for the first time tomorrow. Now to sleep.....right :-)

First picture in South Africa... our "brother of the year" would only consent to a picture if it was funny faces.

Drumroll Please.....

So naming a child can be a challenge at the best of times. Add in there the element of planning for major international travel, the unexpected arrival of a gender you hadn't anticipated....but rejoice in, and two parents with opposite name preferences and you have a recipe for a three week long discussion on names. After much deliberation, I am happy to report that we have agreed....that's right....agreed.

I would love nothing more than to post a sweet picture of our little lady right now....but, alas, that will have to wait until after June 25th when she officially becomes ours. Think bright eyes, beautiful curly hair and the cutest little smile. The name we have chosen for our sweet girl is:

Ada Kietumetsi Ehmann

Ada (pronounced ay-dah....like Ava with a "d") has African roots meaning "first daughter". It also has European roots for "cheerful or happy". Kietumetsi also means "happy". These meanings encapsulate how we feel about our precious girl. She is indeed our first daughter. A long prayed for, long anticipated child we are incredibly blessed to call our own. We were also able to, in some way, honour the meaning of the name her African name "Kietumetsi" which will now be her middle name. 

There has been some discussion about adding a second middle name. Will keep you posted....the Ehmann naming saga continues in a small way :-)

On another note,  I cannot believe that in five more sleeps (according to the countdown on our chalkboard) we will be leaving for South Africa. Today J and I ventured forth to clarify a few concerns at the airport. To think that we will return in five days is unreal. The time has come. We are actually doing it. Our daughter is waiting.

In our preparations I have felt blessing upon blessing. Our freezer is full thanks to loving friends who have served us in an incredibly practical way. Gifts arrive almost daily in the mail from excited relatives too far to pay us a visit. Even our family doctor joined the excitement and contributed a load of over the counter medication and baby supplies for our daughter's baby home. We are blessed. Thank you to all who have loved us, prayed for us and continue to care for us as we continue on this adventure of international adoption.

Many have asked what you can do to support us. At this point the most practical support is prayer. Here are a few things that we would appreciate prayer for:

1) Traveling mercies - That we would stay safe, healthy and sane on our long trek to South Africa. There was some concern about short layovers and the three separate Air Canada reps I have talked to have assured me it will be ok.....that said, a little prayer couldn't hurt.

2) Our Health - We will arrive in South Africa exhausted....with not much time to revive ourselves before we enter an emotionally and physically charged time. Please pray that we stay healthy as we enter this transition.

3) Our Son - J is pretty excited to go to South Africa and meet his sister....and hug her...and make silly faces so she giggles. The workers at the baby home said she loves to play peek a boo....so he is practicing. That said, he has been an only lonely for a long time. Pray that he adjusts well and that Tim and I would have the wisdom to know how to support him in this transition. To be creative in how we involve him, and that his relationship with his little sister would flourish.

4) Our Daughter- Please pray for Ada as she enters our family, leaving the people and environment she has known her whole life. Help us to be sensitive to her needs and to learn quickly what things help set her at ease. Pray for a growing attachment to us as caregivers and her new family.

5) The Staff at Westville Baby House - There are some amazing workers and volunteers that serve faithfully and love the children at Ada's home. Pray that their hands would be blessed. That they would be sustained as they care for 6 young children.

Ok, long post and no pictures. Thanks for hanging in there. Will try for one more post before we go. Yikes! Five more sleeps.

Growing in Grace

This is going to be a long one....please hang in there. It has been weighing heavily on my heart so here goes....

The road to adoption has many unexpected detours. Sometimes the wait is longer than anticipated. Sometimes the agency or country involved has experienced political or administrative challenges. And sometimes the process goes smoothly and you are instead blindsided by other unanticipated challenges as you progress through your journey. Let me elaborate on number three.

Our journey to our daughter has been incredibly smooth both administratively and politically. For this we are thankful and we continue to pray that our journey continues to be smooth. Instead, what has been particularly challenging for us has been the internal processing of adoption and the questions and comments from others. We are forced everyday to think about the injustice, inequality, trauma and devastation that can embark a child on the adoptive journey. We have been forced to grapple with our role in this process. Yes, adoption is redemptive, a blessed start to a new life....but one that cannot be made possible without brokenness. Perhaps it is this intimate and deeply personal processing that has made the questions and comments of others so hard to understand. While my natural tendency is to be hurt and angry I am seeing more clearly everyday....with a few relapses....that perhaps these comments and questions are an opportunity for inviting others into this personal growth. An opportunity for me to extend grace and shed light into the role we play in the adoption journey. For whether you are adopting a child into your home, your extended family or your community, we all play a part in the care and nurture of children who have been adopted.

So in attempt to extend grace and shed light let me elaborate on a few topics that have been particularly challenging in the last few weeks.

Point 1: It is we who are blessed.

Yes, our child is being welcomed into a family with a loving mother and father and big brother who can't wait. Yes, she is becoming a citizen to an affluent country that experiences much freedom and political stability. She will have continued access to food and health care. BUT it is we who are blessed. Please don't be mistaken. God has given us the incredible opportunity to play a role in our daughter's life. To watch her grow and to nurture the gifts He has given her. To provide a home and to love her. We are blessed in the same way that He has blessed us with a son who we love so deeply. We have been given the great privilege in engaging personally on the process of adopting. We are blessed.

Point 2: We have a daughter.

This may seem obvious but we have a daughter waiting for us in South Africa. While her entry into our family is not through birth she is our daughter. She is our daughter in the same way that little J is our son. We are excited about her, we are celebrating her arrival into our family. Please be excited for us, celebrate with us. Embrace her as you would any other new arrival. Yes, it is difficult because she is not here with us yet but make no mistake she is our daughter. We cherish her, we love showing pictures, we want to talk about her. At the same time, please do not make comments that you wouldn't dare think of doing about my son. Nuf said......

Point 3: Does she have any real siblings?

Yup, sure does....he is three and three quarters (according to him), has sweet curly blond hair, loves to fish.....little J is her real brother and he can't wait to play with her and give her hugs. If what you mean is "birth siblings" well....more on that later.....refer to herstory.

Point 4: Do you know much about her real mom?

Yup.....in fact I know every single thing that has ever happened to her in her WHOLE life....I have been there every minute! That would be because I am her. I am her real mom. No, I am not her birth mother but I am her momma in every way except for that. If what you mean is do I know anything about her "birth mother"......well, please look below.

Point 5: "Herstory"

Many of you are curious about our little ladies beginnings. Thank you for your care and concern. The truth of the matter is it will not be us who tells you about her past....it will be her. Yes, we do know a lot about our little girl's story. But in order to honour her we will not be sharing it. There are good reasons for this. Let me elaborate.

As her parents we care deeply about her. We want to be the ones to ascertain when she is developmentally ready to hear the different parts of her story. We do not want anyone else to be the one to tell her because we feel that, as her parents, we are best equipped to determine when and where she discovers the details about her early life. We also want to honour her by allowing her to tell her own story in her own time, to whomever she desires to do so. We have been entrusted with her story but do not feel like it is ours to tell.....none of it.

If, you are asking because you would like to know more about orphan care in South Africa or how to get involved with supporting children in this country we would love to chat about it. We could even connect you with some organizations to partner with. 

 This post is entitled "Growing in Grace" as it encapsulates the growth I am feeling challenged to have towards others. To be gracious when others comment in ways that can be hurtful recognizing that I have hurt others in situations where I am essentially ignorant of the details of their circumstances. I am deeply grateful for those individuals in our lives who have cried with us in our seasons of frustration and who jubilantly celebrate with us now. Who have organized showers, cooked meals to fill our freezer, checked in with us excitedly as we have made plans, brought over clothing for our girl and jumped across parking lots to give us hugs (true story). Thank you for sharing in our excitement. We realize now, more than ever, how wonderfully we are supported. I pray that this blog post would shed light into areas of unknown rather than feel condemning. To educate rather than accuse. For that is the spirit with which it was written.

Two Weeks Later

Our first presents to our sweet baby girl.

So here we are, already two weeks after our phone call. Two weeks since we saw those big brown eyes. Two weeks since our first sneak peak at our daughter. This sweet baby girl......who we affectionately refer to as "Baby K" at our house.....more on that later.....is waiting for us. Or rather, we are waiting, longing to hold that sweet babe in our arms. The wait is comparably short now (only two short weeks until we take off on our adventure) and we are doing what we can to prepare for our newest addition. Here are a few things that we have been up to in the last weeks.

The Basics:
So the not necessarily fun parts but definately necessary have included booking flights (and trying not to think too hard about the number of them, and the longevity of air time and layovers :-), booking accommodations, filling out the necessary forms, copying and certifying even more forms, finishing up our vaccinations and finding a willing candidate to watch over our home and our dog. DONE! So incredibly thankful those are done....and mostly without a hitch.

The Fun Stuff:

The first thing we did when we found out was take a trip to our favorite book store and little J took great effort in choosing the perfect stuffed animal for his baby sister. We have been talking about this special job for some time now and he was ready for the challenge. After removing approximately 15 stuffed animals of all varieties from the shelves and dutifully hugging each selected specimen to deem its suitability a sweet pink rabbit was chosen. A special choice as J has a very beloved bunny himself....who we will be creating a passport for this afternoon because, as J informed me, we can't be worried when we get to the airport and he doesn't have a passport. Baby K's new bunny and blanket will be given when we first meet her. We are hoping that they might act as some sort of transition objects as she leaves the home she has known her whole live to join us.

J taking his first official task as big brother very seriously.

A few months ago we created a special book for Baby K. It has pictures of the three of us, letting her know that we love her, are waiting for her and are pretty excited to meet her. Due to postal challenges it was decided that we wouldn't send it in the mail as we had originally planned. Instead, we had great fun recreating the book in an imovie....this time reading the book to her ourselves. The movie has been forwarded to the baby home. We are hoping that having the opportunity to see our faces and hear our voices might make the initial visit a wee bit less scary....we'll let you know how that goes.

Having never had a girl before we have had some fun going through hand me downs and purchasing a few special clothing items for court day. Up until this point our home has been a whole lot of plaid, stripes and overalls.....the colour pink, little dresses and tights are now showing up on the scene. The hubby and I took some time on Saturday to peruse the girl isles, picking up a thing or two. Even he said it was fun!

The Unexpectedly Challenging:
So, it has been two weeks....and we have yet to reveal Baby K's new first name. In all honesty we were completely surprised (in an incredibly exciting way) that we were having a girl. We had hummed and hawed.....debated and deliberated over boy names....and even settled on one. As for girl names, some discussions took place but nothing too serious. Adoption is an interesting journey. One that has been filled with unexpected challenges. If I am completely transparent, discussing names was almost difficult prior to the referral. Almost like it generated some form of false hope that a referral was on the near horizon. In short, we are down to two names.....may the best man win.....or may God intercede and cause a miraculous agreement. :-)