So this Happened....

A Mother's Day Gift from my sweet husband only a couple weeks ago.

Just like that....as the final annuals found homes in our flowerbeds.....the phone rang. THE PHONE RANG! Displaying the name we have waited for, the news we have hoped for.....and after waiting two hours for my husband to come home we saw those big brown eyes for the first time.

We have a daughter! A precious girl waiting for us in South Africa. A GIRL! God has blessed us with another child. A little girl just turned one. Her name is Kietumetsi which means "I am happy." This name will be her middle name. Our agency had suggested pretty strongly that it was highly unlikely that we would be referred a girl so we hadn't spent much time thinking about girl names. Her new name will be shared soon.....we just have to agree on one :-) Her daddy is excited to meet his little lady.....her momma can't wait to squish and kiss her.....her brother is planning on taking good care of her and has picked out a special stuffy friend to accompany his precious Peter Rabbit alongside his new sister. We are over the moon.

While details are still tentative we are hoping to meet little miss on June 20th with a tentative court date of June 25th. If you are the praying type we would appreciate your prayers for the following things:

1) That the adoption process would run smoothly and there would be very little variation between the actual court date and the tentative one.

2) That we would find accommodations while we are there....apparently there are some major events taking place during our stay that have booked up some of the suggested accommodations.

3) That our daughter would know she is loved.

4) That God would orchestrate a connection between all the members of our sweet family of four.

We look forward to sharing more of our journey in the next couple months. Thank you to all who prayed for our little girl before we knew her name and saw her sweet face.

Blessings Among Brokenness

Today J and I ventured out on our first date to the farmer's market this season. We started this tradition a year ago. A stroll through the market, selecting something special from the vendors and a carefully selected muffin enjoyed between the two of us. While it was a bit chilly to enjoy the sunshine from the patio we sat by the window chatting about story time at the library, about our favorite things to eat and other topics thoroughly enjoyed by my three year old. At one point this morning J became completely captivated by the birds outside....I blessed with the opportunity to take in the wonderment of a three year old. It was a gift. Uninterrupted time with the little boy I love so dearly.

Now don't be fooled, this same contemplative child can also be known to throw objects randomly when frustrated, say inappropriate things at precisely the most inconvenient moments and thoroughly enjoys running away from me when we are already 15 minutes late. Despite all these things I love him like mad and today I was reminded that these extra years we have been given with him alone are a gift. A gift in the midst of heart longing for a companion for our sweet boy. A gift that often goes unrecognized. A gift that I don't often see the value in. Isn't it funny the way God works? Blessing among brokenness.

This has been a challenging season. One filled with tears of longing, anger, and impatience.....jealousy. But, it has also been season of incredible blessing. Not just those extra precious years alone with J. I have been blessed with new friendships and community as we have embarked on this journey of adoption. I have been blessed with generosity as people have given of their time and finances in support of us. I have been blessed with forgiveness and grace when brokenness has robbed me of the ability to rejoice alongside others. I have been blessed with an awareness of the incredible miracle that is the creation of a child. The complete blessing, privilege and responsibility it is to be entrusted with another being to love. I have been blessed with the opportunity for personal growth as I have been challenged to grapple with issues of race, stereotypes and injustice in ways that I haven't before. I have been blessed with the overwhelming opportunity to embark on a journey of adoption. With the anticipation of another child entering our hearts and home.

Seasons such as this can feel crippling. There certainly have been times of brokenness but, if I allow it, this season can refine me. It can stretch and grow me.  It has the power to shape me a little closer to the person God wants me to be.....if nothing else just more dependent on Him in full recognition that I am absolutely not in control.....of anything. And in His grace, amidst all this stretching and growing and shaping, I can look up and grasp a hold of the many blessings among the brokenness.

A Fickle Thing

A prairie spring is a fickle thing. It is almost as if the whisper of spring scares it back into hiding. Last week we were blessed with slushy streets and mud puddles. J and I enjoyed splashing and walking without mitts. Sidewalk chalk and bike riding..... ah the whisper of spring. This weekend has brought snow once more but we have tasted spring.  We may not be planting gardens or mowing lawn like many others I know but the eternal presence of winter has been broken. The seasons are changing.

I feel like the same is true for us in this adoption journey. Since the submission of our dossier to South Africa at the beginning of the summer I have felt as though this was something we were moving towards...yet, were far enough off that I never anticipated the call. The other day the phone rang and it was the first time I thought...."maybe this is it." In all reality we might be waiting for months still but I feel as though something has changed in our season of waiting. As if a whisper of hope or true anticipation has arrived. 

We pray daily for our son or daughter in South Africa....with the full realization that it is quite likely that they are born. Being held, being cared for....being loved by someone else. Sometimes the thought completely overwhelms me. With sorrow that I am missing these earliest days of their lives and the sacrifice that another mother is making. With humble gratitude for the people who are offering care and love to our child. With indescribable helplessness as we wait and trust.

An Update

It has been awhile since I have posted....mostly because.....well, there is not much to post about. It is the dead of winter here in the prairies. Although some hopeful meteorologists are dangling the carrot of positive temperatures for the end of the week, I am not so certain I am falling for it.

Our lives have continued with the anticipation of our adoption referral growing. Two weeks ago marked our need to update our first round of paperwork. The three of us headed to the police station to renew our criminal record checks and Interpol fingerprinting. In many ways it marked a milestone in our season of waiting. We are getting closer. I would say until this point I have tried to protect myself from too much excitement. Almost three years of discouraging news has taught me to do so. To not get too excited, to protect from disappointment. By God's grace I think I am allowing myself to grow excited. We are putting the finishing touches on Baby #2's room. We are buying luggage and starting to allow ourselves to talk regularly about our trip to South Africa. I resisted the urge to purchase a pink snowsuit on sale the other day....just in case it is a "sister" we are waiting for (the potential "brother" will privy to the previously loved ones from Jake).  In some ways I am still guarded but with summer plans on the horizon the realities of us becoming a family of four are sinking in.

We love you little one waiting for us. We can't wait to meet you. We pray each night that you would know you are loved, that you would be cared for well, that we would meet you soon!